If I could turn back time

Thirty years ago tomorrow my brother died.  He was only twelve years old.  I was hoping that tomorrow would pass gently and in a few days after the dreaded day I'd suddenly remember that it was another anniversary of his death and be able say to myself, "hey, you didn't even think about the day he died".  But when you happen to get a Facebook notification and happen see a photo of your Mamas face staring at you unexpectedly and suddenly realize how much she's aged and you see the lines that are much more noticeable now, frankly you can't help but remember that time doesn't stand still.  I know we all gotta go sometime.  I'm well aware that time is ticking by. Maybe it's the wrinkles on my face that I see less clearly now that I have glasses and progressive lenses at that. Perhaps it's the irritating reminder when you have to pee several times in the night or simply the fact that once you are awake you can't go back to sleep. I often think about how much I would have loved to get to know my brother. I mean he was a kid when he died.  I would have loved my kids to have an uncle that was part of their lives.  If I had a time machine and could do that time wimey thing and go back to 30 years ago today, I'd tell my brother how much I loved him. I'd pray that God would change the course of events that led to his untimely death.  However, I am who I am due impart to that tragic day.  If I have learned one thing from that God Awful Day, I have learned that time moves on. That there will be days filled with happiness and those days will be the days that keep me moving forward.  All of My kids have outlived my brother's short life. I am blessed but frankly I would prefer to skip tomorrow.