When the birds fly the coop, what's a mama to do but get serious about her weight problem

Last summer I stepped on the scale at the doctors office for my yearly physical and had to face the facts.  I was fat.  At 45 years old I had been dealing with low iron, low b-12, thyroid issues, ever present period problems and exhaustion for a few years.  The doctor didn't tell me I needed to lose weight and I'm not sure why.  Maybe she could see how tired I was or maybe she had sympathy for me because my last child was leaving for college and I was slightly depressed.  At 5'6" I weighed cough cough 169.  We had already planned our summer vacation and as I found myself packing clothes for Maine I realized I had only one pair of pants to wear.  I had no choice but to buy the next size up.  I went to Kohl's and got some pretty hideous size 12 jeans.  To be fair, I was still jogging 2-3 miles 3-4 times a week and I had a gym membership.  I was pretty frustrated that the weight had escalated to that amount and I felt hopeless.  When we returned from our vacation I decided to make some changes.  It was July and it was hot but I knew I had to get serious.  I gave myself small goals.  My first goal was below 160.  I stopped drinking drinks with sugar.  I gave up my beloved coca-cola and my ever present sweet tea.  I started jogging as much as I could.  I jogged at least 3 miles and walked a lot.  I also got on the scale daily.  I started losing weight.  I realized I was dropping at least 2 oz. daily.  On weeks that I had my period that would change but after I was off my period I realized the weight was literally falling off.   My second goal was below 150.  I lost down to 135 by November. My next goal was to maintain through the holidays and drop down to 125 after the new year. I did get sick in November with colitis for 6 weeks so I couldn't run and didn't eat a lot but I didn't really lose weight either.  I got frustrated this summer because I've been around 138 since April and couldn't lose an ounce.   In May I asked for a fitbit and I keep track of my daily calories.  This past Saturday I was 134 and today, I'm 133.6.  I am writing this to encourage everyone that is discouraged by their weight.  You don't need to pay someone to get healthy.  It's simply a lifestyle choice.  I thought I had an addiction to coca-cola but it really wasn't that hard once I set my mind to it.  Monitoring my calories in the Myfitnesspal app has really helped me. I'm only accountable to me.

Guess who got a Job!!!!

My sweetie called me a couple of weeks ago really frustrated. Work was on his last nerve and he suggested I find a job. We have talked about me finding a job for the last couple of years but what is a 46 year old woman to do?  Who would hire s woman that hasn't worked in a quarter of a century?  I have gone to college.  I even have a medical transcription degree but never used it. I planned to work from home but the program shut down and I wasn't able to work in a business away from home since I homeschooled my kids.  That was ok though. My wrist bothered me throughout the program and I realized that I probably wouldn't make it as a transcriptionist. I do have a small business where I flip things.  I buy electronics, cell phones, iPods, video games, and even musical instruments. I am a determined woman though. I got he said look and I did. I pulled up my resume and updated it. I found jobs and started applying. I applied for an office job, at an airline and at a popular retail store.  I was rather flippant as I answered questions on the applications. No I won't work holidays,  no, I won't work Friday or Saturday.  I asked for an unreasonable salary. I mean really. What did I have to lose?  The next day I got an email requesting an interview.  I wasn't nervous as I answered the questions. I left knowing they wouldn't hire me.  I haven't interviewed in 28 years. So, You can imagine my surprise when I got a call telling me that I was hired.  So tomorrow after being out of the workplace for 25 years, I'm going to work.  Wish me luck.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

 I started jogging as a teenager and jogged off and on my entire life. When I first started jogging it was just me and the open air and the only sounds I heard were cows mooing, and cars flying by down the old country roads I jogged on.  When the Walkman came around, I invested in one and then I could listen to a tape or the radio. It was living the high life y'all. I was thinking about that the other day when I went out for a five mile jog.  Now, I have a playlist on my iPhone and I no longer have to stop and flip over the tape. I get to choose what songs I hear and they don't have to be by the same artist.  Also, I have an app that tells me how far I run and get this how many calories I burn. That my friends is amazing. I forgot my headphones the other day and was blasting my music as I passed by several people on the trail I run on. I wondered what they thought of my song selections: Don't stop believing (Journey), Stronger(Kelly Clarkson), eye of the Tiger (survivor), Young Turks(Rod Stewart),  and Dancin Queen(ABBA) to name a few.  What are songs that you listen to when you jog?

Top Ten Tuesday.

I could change my mind because what I love to watch depends on my mood. Here are my favorites today:

10.  Toy Story:  what's not to like?  Tom Hanks and Tim Allen at their best. Love it. Love the music.
9. Star Wars:  Harrison Ford.  Enough said.
8.  Sabrina:  again Harrison Ford.
7. Andy Griffith:  Don Knotts.  Lighthearted. The first 5 seasons.
6.  Parks and Rec so much funny
5. Doctor Who. Thanks to my kids
4. The Princess Bride. Everything about this movie rocks.
3. Emma ((bbc version) just watch it.  You'll see.
2. Anne of Green Gables.  My kindred spirit
1. You've Got mail: My all time fave. So many good things about this movie.

If I could turn back time

Thirty years ago tomorrow my brother died.  He was only twelve years old.  I was hoping that tomorrow would pass gently and in a few days after the dreaded day I'd suddenly remember that it was another anniversary of his death and be able say to myself, "hey, you didn't even think about the day he died".  But when you happen to get a Facebook notification and happen see a photo of your Mamas face staring at you unexpectedly and suddenly realize how much she's aged and you see the lines that are much more noticeable now, frankly you can't help but remember that time doesn't stand still.  I know we all gotta go sometime.  I'm well aware that time is ticking by. Maybe it's the wrinkles on my face that I see less clearly now that I have glasses and progressive lenses at that. Perhaps it's the irritating reminder when you have to pee several times in the night or simply the fact that once you are awake you can't go back to sleep. I often think about how much I would have loved to get to know my brother. I mean he was a kid when he died.  I would have loved my kids to have an uncle that was part of their lives.  If I had a time machine and could do that time wimey thing and go back to 30 years ago today, I'd tell my brother how much I loved him. I'd pray that God would change the course of events that led to his untimely death.  However, I am who I am due impart to that tragic day.  If I have learned one thing from that God Awful Day, I have learned that time moves on. That there will be days filled with happiness and those days will be the days that keep me moving forward.  All of My kids have outlived my brother's short life. I am blessed but frankly I would prefer to skip tomorrow.

Family language

My family loves to mock me.  I'm the queen of saying words and sayings incorrectly.  For instance once I said, "it's like chasing a dead horse".  I try to be careful but I mix euphemisms all the time.  My family lives for it because once the words roll off the tongue...  they are free game.  My family never forgets anything, like ever.  Thankfully, turnabout is fair play and on occasion they leave me something that I don't let go of either.  

When the kids were younger we went camping.  We stayed at a nice camp ground and we met nice people but being the nervous Nellie that I am,  I trust no one.  Whenever we camped I was in charge of showering, potty breaks, etc because we had 3 girls.  While this mom was up and down all night,  and all day my husband stayed at the campground and slept, I mean cooked and cleaned.  Once, when all of us girls were in the bathroom my youngest started walking back to our camp site unannounced.  I realized she was leaving and called her name.  I told her she had to tell someone when she left so she said, "Hello Lizard" because she saw a lizard at the door and then she left and that was that.  From then on whenever they left they'd say Hello lizard. A few years later when my oldest girl started driving them all around, I'd get a text from them with that phrase, "hello lizard", then it evolved into "lo lizard", until now it's just a simple "lo".  A few weeks ago my husband decided he wanted to start biking to and fro work.  The first day he called me and we made an agreement from then on that he'd text me instead of calling and he does every day when he arrives and every day when he leaves.  It simply says "Lo", but it makes me think of those great times when my girls were little and I complained because I did all the work at the campground.  Man, I miss those days.

Keep Your Children Close

I'm often dumbfounded when I see small children left unattended.  When we first moved to our neighborhood 18 years ago, my husband was outside with our kids in the front yard playing.  He told me later that A young woman walked across the street, down the sidewalk, to our yard with her young daughter that was around 5 and pushed her towards my family and left. No introductions, nothing and that's how we got to know "Emily".

When I was younger probably around 5 years old, we spent a lot of time at the bowling alley.  My memory has faded as I've gotten older and for that I'm often thankful. My parents were on at least one league that I can remember, so at least once a week we'd pile into our car (me often sitting on a hump in the back), and head to the bowling Alley.  Often we'd eat at the BBQ place that was in the same parking lot.  My father would give my sisters and I a few quarters so we could play pinball, or get snacks while they bowled and visited with their friends.  We often hung out in the ladies bathroom and sang songs while the music echoed.  It was music of the 70's, The Captain and Tenille, The Bee Gees, etc. These times should have been the best of times.  But, they weren't.  There was an old scumbag that showed up every time we were there.  I don't remember him bowling ever. He gave all of us girls kisses, hugs and gifts.  The smell of orange blossom perfume makes me gag to this day.  I'm not sure why this old scumbag went unnoticed.  Somehow right there in that bowling alley that man molested me unnoticed, weekly.  I won't go into detail because honestly I don't want to see it on my monitor.  I'm not sure the time frame, whether he stopped going to the bowling alley or we stopped going.  What I do remember was sitting under the dining room table playing while my Mom and Dad were talking and My mother told my father that the man had been arrested for molesting young girls.  My dad was shocked and said he would kill him if he did that to one of his kids.  I didn't know what molesting was, but I knew the man was in jail and I figured out pretty quickly that what he was in jail for was probably similar to what he'd done to me.  My parents never asked us if he'd done something to us.  I'm not sure why.  Maybe they didn't want to know because it would be hard to handle.  Maybe they thought that nothing would happen in a bowling alley.  All I remember is I knew that my Dad would go to jail for killing a man and so I never said anything.  I lived in fear for years.  Even when we moved to a different town I feared the man finding me.  I had dreams where he hunted me down.  I'd walk down the dirt road from the bus stop looking over my shoulder.  I never felt at peace.  Then one day when I was 15, my Mom and I were at the mall.  She had run into friends at Lerner's and was chatting and I went to another store.  Out of nowhere, this man walked up to me and asked if I was "my name" and I said yes, and he asked if  I remembered him.  I couldn't place him although he looked familiar.  I asked if he worked with my Dad and he said no. I told him that I didn't recognize him and he said, "I think you know me" and then it hit me. I was standing face to face with my molestor.   I decided quickly to lie but I felt the blood rush out of my face and I'm sure he got some pleasure out of my reaction.  He told me his name which I remembered and I told him my mom was next door, that I would go get her and see if she remembered him.  He didn't want me to do that but I quickly left feeling shaken.  My mother never noticed how upset I was. I don't remember if I told her that I'd seen him, we left the mall soon after.  And, my living in fear continued.  Never knowing if I'd run into him again.  Several years later after I'd had my first daughter I turned on the news and saw a news report that they had found him dead.  Someone murdered him.  I will tell you the amount of relief that I felt was immense.  That man changed my life.  I often blamed myself for the situation but I realize now that it wasn't my fault. I'm sure it's not surprising, I was super protective of my kids as they grew up.  I tried to keep them out of situations where I couldn't protect them.  I told them that if anyone ever did anything to them to let me know.  Once when we were on an empty beach, my friend mocked me for not letting my children have freedom to run a long ways from me.  I said nothing to her, but I did make my kids come closer.  My rule was "if I can't get to you in time to save your life than you are too far."   It's really sad that there are evil people in this world.  I hope he's in hell feeling really sorry for what he did to me and God knows how many other young girls.  Years later I hear that "Emily" has had a rough life. I'm sorry for her. She was a sweet girl.

 Hold your children close and never be afraid to be that over protective parent.  Who knows where the enemies lurk. Trust me