I'm often dumbfounded when I see small children left unattended. When we first moved to our neighborhood 18 years ago, my husband was outside with our kids in the front yard playing. He told me later that A young woman walked across the street, down the sidewalk, to our yard with her young daughter that was around 5 and pushed her towards my family and left. No introductions, nothing and that's how we got to know "Emily".
When I was younger probably around 5 years old, we spent a lot of time at the bowling alley. My memory has faded as I've gotten older and for that I'm often thankful. My parents were on at least one league that I can remember, so at least once a week we'd pile into our car (me often sitting on a hump in the back), and head to the bowling Alley. Often we'd eat at the BBQ place that was in the same parking lot. My father would give my sisters and I a few quarters so we could play pinball, or get snacks while they bowled and visited with their friends. We often hung out in the ladies bathroom and sang songs while the music echoed. It was music of the 70's, The Captain and Tenille, The Bee Gees, etc. These times should have been the best of times. But, they weren't. There was an old scumbag that showed up every time we were there. I don't remember him bowling ever. He gave all of us girls kisses, hugs and gifts. The smell of orange blossom perfume makes me gag to this day. I'm not sure why this old scumbag went unnoticed. Somehow right there in that bowling alley that man molested me unnoticed, weekly. I won't go into detail because honestly I don't want to see it on my monitor. I'm not sure the time frame, whether he stopped going to the bowling alley or we stopped going. What I do remember was sitting under the dining room table playing while my Mom and Dad were talking and My mother told my father that the man had been arrested for molesting young girls. My dad was shocked and said he would kill him if he did that to one of his kids. I didn't know what molesting was, but I knew the man was in jail and I figured out pretty quickly that what he was in jail for was probably similar to what he'd done to me. My parents never asked us if he'd done something to us. I'm not sure why. Maybe they didn't want to know because it would be hard to handle. Maybe they thought that nothing would happen in a bowling alley. All I remember is I knew that my Dad would go to jail for killing a man and so I never said anything. I lived in fear for years. Even when we moved to a different town I feared the man finding me. I had dreams where he hunted me down. I'd walk down the dirt road from the bus stop looking over my shoulder. I never felt at peace. Then one day when I was 15, my Mom and I were at the mall. She had run into friends at Lerner's and was chatting and I went to another store. Out of nowhere, this man walked up to me and asked if I was "my name" and I said yes, and he asked if I remembered him. I couldn't place him although he looked familiar. I asked if he worked with my Dad and he said no. I told him that I didn't recognize him and he said, "I think you know me" and then it hit me. I was standing face to face with my molestor. I decided quickly to lie but I felt the blood rush out of my face and I'm sure he got some pleasure out of my reaction. He told me his name which I remembered and I told him my mom was next door, that I would go get her and see if she remembered him. He didn't want me to do that but I quickly left feeling shaken. My mother never noticed how upset I was. I don't remember if I told her that I'd seen him, we left the mall soon after. And, my living in fear continued. Never knowing if I'd run into him again. Several years later after I'd had my first daughter I turned on the news and saw a news report that they had found him dead. Someone murdered him. I will tell you the amount of relief that I felt was immense. That man changed my life. I often blamed myself for the situation but I realize now that it wasn't my fault. I'm sure it's not surprising, I was super protective of my kids as they grew up. I tried to keep them out of situations where I couldn't protect them. I told them that if anyone ever did anything to them to let me know. Once when we were on an empty beach, my friend mocked me for not letting my children have freedom to run a long ways from me. I said nothing to her, but I did make my kids come closer. My rule was "if I can't get to you in time to save your life than you are too far." It's really sad that there are evil people in this world. I hope he's in hell feeling really sorry for what he did to me and God knows how many other young girls. Years later I hear that "Emily" has had a rough life. I'm sorry for her. She was a sweet girl.
Hold your children close and never be afraid to be that over protective parent. Who knows where the enemies lurk. Trust me
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